Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize