Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
