he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
