Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
