Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
