wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Randomize
