I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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