Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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