I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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