I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
