Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
