omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
