Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
