I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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