Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
