he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
