yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
