I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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