stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
