last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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