a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
