I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
