Define "chronic" masturbator.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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