finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
BRING THE BAGELS
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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