ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
