sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
