Jerry, you need to find god
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
