Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
