We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize