i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
