the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
