I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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