READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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