yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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