I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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