is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
