Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
