a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
