I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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