Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
