My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
