Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
