There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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