i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
