Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
This couple is walking their pig around campus
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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