and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
