The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize