I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
