Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
