i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She's the barista slut.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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