My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
