my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
