I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
