i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
