So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
