His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
