pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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