No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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