i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
