Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
