But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
