told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
