just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
