you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
