i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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